Sunday Mail (Scotland), January 14, 2001 Lara: It's good to be Bach Exclusive, by Steven Hendry And I thought American tabloids were bad... This huge full-page piece reads as follows: No bra-ss section: Lara Sexy violinist Lara St. John shocked the American establishment with her air-on-a-G-string approach to classical music. Now, the raunchy musician - who posed nude, save for a violin, for the cover of her album Bare Bach - wants to head home to Scotland. The gorgeous Scots-Canadian has never played in the UK because she didn't think we were ready for her bad-girl image - but now promoters are clamoring to sign her up. She plans to head across the Atlantic around March and will head to Edinburgh to check out the birthplace of her great-grandmother. She said: "I'm excited about visiting Scotland, as my ancestry lies there. I'm hoping to trace my family roots. "If I play in Scotland, I'll definitely wear something tartan." Hitting back at her critics, New York-based Lara added: "For me, the energy for music and the energy for sex come from the same place." Picture captions: "Sex and Violins: Lara St. John is happy to use a raunchy image to promote her classical music." and „No bra-ss section: Lara" Comments from Lara: This article has the distinction of having used no less than five totally tacky clichés. I have never seen any more than two even in the worst US tabloid. Seems as though each time someone uses "Sex and Violins" they are proud to have thought it up, probably sitting there all happy and self-satisfied, presumably thinking it is their own creation. Of the 300-odd articles written about me in the past 3 years, I have seen that one over 20 times, and at least 5 times as a headline. Isn't this what these folks do for a living????? One would think they could come up with something better. I have got to give them credit for the "no bra-ss section" - I have never seen that one before, and find it to be in the realm of "bad jokes gone good" - it is so stupid that it is actually quite uproarious. And is "raunchy" a sort of Scottish fave word? I suppose it would sound quite good coming from them (rrrrraunchy!) but I fear they have a somewhat different definition of it over there. Now, at this point, I would like to make clear that I have never in my life spoken on the phone to anyone from Scotland. I never did an interview for these folks, and their quotes (especially the tartan bit) had myself and friends rolling on the floor. Goes to show how the media always wins - all these dudes in Edinburgh are going to now think I am some sort of brainless turd from the New World. As for being a Scots-Canadian, I suppose I am, about a quarter. Possibly. I am a total mutt, as are most Canadians, and I would imagine that just about every 4th+ generation Canadian has a Scottish grandmother or two. And as for going to visit Edinburgh, well, I am going to Prague in March. Non-stop. I am not sure if their geographical knowledge is just extremely questionable, or if perhaps someone intends to send me a ticket, which would be great, but at the moment I have no plans to nose around Edinburgh graveyards. I would of course love to visit someday (that part is very true!!) but will probably , after this article, try to go incognito.